Shedding layers

So, this has been a (really) long time coming. I’d been wanting to commit to this change for a few years now, but because of my insecurities over potentially not being received well and fear of stepping outside of the bounds I’d become familiar with (in a territory that’s considered relatively uncharted, no less), I didn’t. I think as the years went on, this digital space and my career veered off onto this path that felt like it inched further and further away from who I really was/am and what I cared about behind the scenes.

I’ve never felt good about excessive consumption. Even as a little kid I distinctly remember times I’d question adults for letting the water faucet run when we weren’t using the water, and as a teenager, the time I’d asked my manager at my first-ever job as an office assistant to urge fellow faculty members to be frugal with office supplies. Or the time I’d worked at a restaurant during college and the knots I would feel in my stomach knowing that there would be so much water or food that will inevitably end up not eaten. Or the time I felt vacant working retail and how it was of utmost importance to up-sell and line plastic bags with more material things that customers would likely forget about in a month’s time.

I grew up in an immigrant household with not much at all. My parents, siblings and I had to use items and wear clothes until they were all done or completely tattered, finish every single grain of rice so as to not waste a single morsel of potential energy, hardly use the AC or heat to conserve energy, turn off every light switch in rooms where no bodies were present. The farther along I went with fashion blogging, the more I felt trapped in excess and the farther I felt from myself. I have been slowly making my way back and I hope to finally share it you.

In earnest x